Most of the mindset, motivation, and spiritual advice out there is teaching men how to avoid the hard feelings. Manage the anxiety. Escape the boredom. Numb the grief. Get to some clean, calm, “high vibe” place where nothing hurts.
I think that’s backwards.
The hard feelings aren’t the thing to escape. They’re the raw material. Every ounce of character, authenticity, and growth I’ve ever earned came straight out of the stuff I was told to avoid.
The pain isn’t in the way. It is the way.
So I stopped running. I started asking for it…
GIVE ME EVERYTHING.
I open myself to receive.
Give me anxiety.
I am only ever anxious about things I love.
Give me boredom.
Everything I’ve ever created was born on the other side of it.
Give me fear.
It only shows up right before it’s time to grow.
Give me doubt.
It means I’m finally asking myself the honest question instead of the easy one.
Give me frustration.
It reveals the gap between where I am and where I know I could be.
Give me failure, the afterglow of courage.
Proof I aimed higher than my limits.
Give me exhaustion.
The reward for giving my all to something I chose to pursue.
Give me anger, a fire that reveals injustice.
It powers, protects, and provides.
Give me the pain.
The evidence my passion and efforts were real.
Give me depression.
The deep rest I need after daring something big enough to break me.
Give me grief.
It’s the truest measure of how much I loved what I lost.
Trigger me. Set my nervous system on fire.
The signal I’m alive.
Now I know exactly what needs my attention.
Give me loneliness.
So I can get to know myself, and the drive to find others like me.
Give me the opportunity to increase capacity.
Give me the chance to learn, heal, and grow.
Give me life.
So I can feel it all.
And from what I am given, I can now give to others.
Give my calm to the anxious.
Give my wonder to the bored.
Give my courage to the afraid.
Give my belief to the doubting.
Give my patience to the frustrated.
Give my encouragement to the ones who failed.
Give my energy to the exhausted.
Give my protection to the wronged.
Give my compassion to those in pain.
Give my presence to those in the dark.
Give my witness to the grieving.
Give my company to the lonely.
And when I need them, keep me open to receive.
Give. Me. Everything.
Give it all.
Shane Sams is a speaker, entrepreneur, author, and founder of The Great Men Project: a movement for driven men who have everything on paper, but still feel like something is missing. For men who’ve tried all the “man up” programs, overpriced masterminds, sappy retreats and know there’s something more. Men who are done living a good enough life based on “shoulds,” and are ready to build a great life on their own terms.
Shane releases a weekly podcast talking to men pursuing great lives on their terms. Covering topics related to midlife, physical health, brotherhood, men’s mental health, business, family, investing, and higher consciousness. Listen to Great Men w/ Shane Sams wherever you get podcasts. Learn more at GreatMen.org.